Thank You, Miss Lohan…

Every four weeks, in my English Comp class, we are required to present a final draft of a style of writing that we had studied in the previous three weeks.  The last paper I did for this was the essay “One Shining Moment”, but for this one I had no idea what I wanted to write about.  That was until I heard about a little news tidbit on Mike and Mike in the Morning.

On the previous day, Lindsay Lohan filed a suit in a Nassau County, New York court against E*Trade Financial Corp for a total amount of $100 million.  All of that because of this commercial…

It seems that Miss Lohan thinks that she is the only girl in the world named Lindsay and that the “milkaholic” Lindsay in the commercial is a characterization of her.  First of all, I personally think it’s a little sad she sees herself in a character who drinks too much and steals other people’s boyfriends.  But, beyond all of that, the pure narcissism on display here is All-Universe caliber stuff.  Her attorney maintains in the lawsuit that Lohan has achieved the same “single-name” recognition as Oprah or Madonna.  I’ve seen Oprah and Madonna – and Lindsay, you are no Oprah.  Besides, there’s a difference between being famous and being infamous… but, I digress (before I write my whole paper in this post).

Again, I say ‘thank you, Miss Lohan’ because you gave me the evaluation paper I needed.  I going to analyze the data and try to determine if you are the most vain person in the history of man.  Stay tuned for the results…


About Richard Howk

Fiction author with my first novel, Pariah, available December 2nd.
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